“我陷于狂风，也能在风暴中起舞”

Be Brave

Be Radiant

Be Auspicious

Be Valuable

Be Exceptional

Be Self-compassionate

我不太懂与人相处，因而得罪了身边的一些人，于是被孤立，被欺负。但当时的我对这些暴力行为积极反抗，也并没有抑郁倾向。

I didn't know how to get along with people very well, and I often offended people around me, so I was isolated and bullied. At that time, I was actively fighting against these violent acts and did not have depressive tendencies.

后来有了一个男生帮我出头，会陪我玩陪我闹，我们之间的感情非常非常好，我一度将他当作我苦难过后上天给予我的安慰，是结满尘灰的房间吹进来的清澈的风。

There was a boy who helped me out, who would play with me and joke around with me, and we had a very good relationship. For a while, I saw him as a comfort from God after my suffering, a clear breeze blowing in from a room caked with dust.

图源：网络

cr. Internet

但是我太缺乏安全感，不断闹着他来发泄自己的不安。

But I was too insecure and kept pushing him away to vent my insecurities

他还是离开了我。

He left me.

从那以后，我的状态就逐渐变得不好，像是心脏被撕裂，有很重要的东西丢失，开始失眠、自残、没有胃口吃不下东西、头晕…

After that, I gradually became in a bad state. My heart was torn apart, something significant was lost, and I began to lose sleep, self-harm, have no appetite to eat, and have dizziness...

没有人发现我的不对劲，包括我的父母。

No one noticed that something was wrong with me, including my parents.

图源：网络

cr. Internet

直到有一次学校开家长会，那天我刚好和同学吵架，没有控制住自己拿美工刀给自己划了十几厘米的口子，这才让学校老师和家长注意到。妈妈带我去看医生，确诊是抑郁症。

It was until a parent and teacher conference at school, the day I happened to be arguing with a classmate, that I didn't control myself and took a hobby knife and cut myself a ten-centimeter wound, which brought the attention of the school teachers and parents. My mom took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with depression.

但我从来就不是因为一些挫折就会放弃求生欲的人。

But I was never someone who would give up my desire to live just because of some setbacks.

为了淡化病情，我开始看心理学方面的书，也没有再去听和看让我有不好的情绪共鸣的歌和文字，每次想要做出伤害自己的事情，就主观告诉自己要冷静，不要冲动，再进行几次深呼吸。

To downplay the condition, I started reading books on psychology and stopped listening to and reading songs and words that resonated with my destructive emotions. Whenever I wanted to do something to hurt myself, I subjectively told myself to be calm and not impulsive and took a few more deep breaths.

图源：网络

cr. Internet

在与病魔挣扎的过程中，我从来不觉得自己是一个病人，我不想把自己圈在格子里面，不想越陷越深。我积极治疗，这个病真的慢慢好了起来。大概过了两年，就已经好的差不多了(也有可能因为我并不是重度抑郁)。

In struggling with the disease, I never felt like a patient; I didn't want to circle myself inside the grid and fall deeper and deeper. I cooperated with the treatments, and this disease slowly got better. After about two years, I was so much better (maybe because I wasn't severely depressed).

在我生病时最困扰我的，也是我认为最困扰抑郁症患者的，是我们不自主产生的一些消极想法，并且病症可能会让我们失去本能的求生欲，认为自己好不起来，从而不愿配合治疗，在外界不好的舆论下，会觉得这个病是很羞耻的，说出来会被大家认为只是矫情。想要治好一个抑郁症患者的第一步，是要让他和家人对于抑郁症有正确的认识，积极配合医生。

What bothered me the most when I was sick, and what I think bothers depressed people the most, is that we involuntarily generate some negative thoughts. The illness may make us lose our instinctive desire to live, thinking that we can't get better, so we don't want to cooperate with the treatment. Under the wrong opinion of the outside world, we will feel that this illness is very shameful, and talking about it will be considered by everyone as just pretentious. The first step to curing a depressed person is to make him and his family correctly understand depression and actively cooperate with the doctor.

抑郁症并不难以启齿，它像感冒发烧一样，是身体出现的问题，是一种病，如果大家发现自己有抑郁趋势，一定要及时去看心理医生！

Depression is not difficult to talk about; it's like a cold and fever, a problem in the body, a disease, and if people have depressive tendencies, they must see a psychiatrist in time!

无论是如何的昏沉压抑，只要相信自己，总会有美好明媚的阳光从裂缝溢进。

在至暗时刻，自己永远是自己最坚强的靠山。

No matter how dull and depressing it is, as long as you believe in yourself, wonderful bright sunshine will always spill in through the cracks.

In the darkest moments, you will always be your most vital support.

这是我在抵抗病魔经历中的一点点心得，希望能够帮助到大家。

本期作者｜Indifferent.7

本期编辑｜孔晶堃

本期排版｜Dorothy

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